Why should being a late bloomer be seen as a hindrance to a person’s personal growth journey? Here are three lessons I’ve learned as a late bloomer.
As a child, two specific situations occurred in my life that has greatly influenced my values, hopes, and aspirations. First, when I was seven years old, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The tumor was fortunately benign; however, I endured twenty hours of surgery and I was not able to walk for eight months. The removal of the brain tumor left my right side paralyzed, making my left side my dominant side, making me left-handed. Despite being a successful operation, the removal of the brain tumor left me with many learning difficulties, and I had to relearn how to walk. Five years later, I was diagnosed with a recurring tumor in the left jaw. I had another major operation, where my whole left jaw was removed. I was not able to speak for several months. My jaw was reconstructed with bone marrow from both of my hips. The bone marrow was placed in titanium, which helped mold my jaw into what I have today.
My story above illustrates how I became a late bloomer in life. I am aware that everything happens to me later in life. For example, most people get their driving license at the age of 16. Due to my right side being paralyzed, I was not able to get my driving license until the age of 19 almost 20 years old. Due to the challenges, I experienced earlier on in life, I became introverted, lacked confidence, lacked self-belief, and had a limited mindset. I was not aware of my potential to be great. I was more sheltered than my peers at my age, and due to my health issues, I was not able to meet the “normal” (society’s timeframe) to achieve age-appropriate milestones. For example, I was 28 years old when I was finally cleared from having any more magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) / computed tomography scan (CAT) Scans of the brain and jaw. At that age, most people are already parents, in committed relationships, or starting their own businesses. For me, I was just happy to not be heading into the hospital.
I was a late bloomer, I had a late start to life. By the time I turned 30, I was blooming and I was finally gaining more confidence in my talents and learning to be ok with who I was as a woman, but in society’s timeframe, once you hit 30, society expects a person to already be accomplished, married, have their own family, so on and so forth. You even hear people say, once a woman is over 30, no man is going to want her, or you hear people say once you are over 30 and you have not reached your goals or followed your passions in life, just let it go. I asked myself, why should being a late bloomer be seen as a hindrance to a person’s personal growth journey? I don’t think people who say these negative things realize how it can negatively affect a person’s mental health. I mean if you think about it, there are eight billion people in this world, and we all can’t do the same things in the same timeframe, that is just impossible. Each person has their own timeframe when it comes to achieving greatness. We oftentimes compare our lives to society’s standards of what should be accomplished during society’s defined age per goal or timetable.
Once you are over 30, society’s naysayers start to get to you, saying things like, “you can’t be an actor, you are too old now,” or “you can’t build a multimillion-dollar business, you are in your 40’s come on” we find ourselves saying that maybe I should just forget about my dreams because I am a late bloomer, and it’s going to take me a long time to achieve my goal and pursue my dreams, because I am getting older. But your age is not a determining factor in whether or not you reach your dreams. Your faith, passion, and determination create the actions that will lead to you fulfilling your goals. Don’t let age limit you from chasing your dreams! Your beauty is always from within. Being a late bloomer is not a curse, yet a blessing in disguise. Here are three lessons I’ve learned as a late bloomer.
To start, I took the liberty of looking up the term late bloomer, and according to Merriam- Webster, it is someone who becomes successful, attractive, etc., later in life than other people.
Lesson 1: Not a Curse. Being a late bloomer is not a curse, but a blessing in disguise; you have more advantages than most. As a late bloomer, your journey to greatness requires more self-discovery and becoming more aware of who you are. Being a late bloomer in life gives you more of an advantage in knowing yourself and giving you more time to cultivate your talents and gifts.
Lesson 2: Don’t Compare. Try your hardest not to compare your life’s journey to someone who is in the same age group as you. Follow your own path and understand that your time is coming. Your experiences and timeframes are different within your life’s journey. You hear people say all the time to women who are 35 or older, their beauty is going to fade, and no man is going to want to marry them, but that could not be farther from the truth. I’ve met women over 37 who got married to the man of their dreams, first marriage, the first time being a mom, in fact, some are even millionaires. So, I always say, slow and study wins the race.
Lesson 3: Be You. Be authentically you. The world needs your unique approach to life, your message can be the testimony someone needs to hear to believe in themselves.
I hope the lessons I was able to share help you realize that being a late bloomer can have more pros than cons, and it should not be seen as a hindrance to a person’s personal growth journey.
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Your lovely,
Cynthia Appiah, MSW
Host of Cynthia TV| Pageant Competition Expert| Motivational Speaker, CEO of Beauty From Within Coaching & Consulting LLC
